Faire Les Courses (Running Errands in France)

Now that my time in France is limited (only three more weeks - ah!) you may wonder what a typical day is like for me over here now that there is no husband, no stage, no school.  Well, most of every single day is spent hitting the pavement, seeking out culinary treasures and secrets to bring to you.  Unfortunately, the rest of the day is spent navigating my way through everyday French life, and I must admit it is not always easy.  There are simply too many cultural differences in how business is done, how people interact, how one walks down the street (in a straight line in America, in a swerving line in France), etc.  You get the picture. 

In order to give you a little taste of my everyday French life,  below is a rundown of my day so far.  May you be entertained and may you be thankful that you were not me today :)

- Wake up and research train tickets to Burgundy.  Head to train ticket boutique in order to buy tickets because the stupid French bank you use has decided to not let you put anything else on your debit card this month even though there is enough money in the bank to do so.  Marvel at the fact you can take out as much cash from the ATM as you want, but are unable to conveniently use the card to purchase a train ticket online.

- Take a deep breath as you enter the train ticket boutique and see only two employees helping a waiting room of 20 people.  Quickly grab a number and find a seat amongst other unhappy train ticket buyers.  Thank God that there is a number system here since it is the only way in hell French people will abide by a line (Believe me, if there had been no number to take the four people who came in after me would have tried to cut their way to the front of the line somehow).  Smile at the fact that even though no one's number has changed since it was taken we all look at our tickets when the next number is called just to make sure the ticket didn't magically change to the number being called.  Secretly despise the people who go up to the window and have no idea what day, time or even location they want to travel to.  Bolt out of your seat when you number is called.  Quickly buy tickets (with cash, mind you) and smile smugly as you pass all the people in line on your way out.

- Head to a K-Martesque type store called Darty.  Look for the cheapest iron you can find to replace the one that shattered into pieces and happened to belong to your landlady.  Find one for 14.50 Euros and sing the praises of the French version of K-Mart.  Quickly stop singing praises when you realize someone is going to have to find it in the storeroom since there are no more on display.  Desperately look for a salesperson and try your best to pretend to be a French national who is very important.  Find a salesperson, say "excusez-moi" in your very best important French person voice and have her reply, "I'm already helping two people."  Ask her where you should wait in order to be helped.  Hope desperately she tells you there is a number system.  When her response is, "just wait anywhere" briefly consider trying to pass off the broken iron at home as perfectly new.  Instead, employ French cutting in line tactics and eventually buy iron.

- Walk directly to the chocolate shop next door for some 75% dark chocolate stress relief.

- Go to bank.  Ring the bell and wait for someone inside to decide if you look like a bank robber or terrorist before being let in.  Ask if they have a pen you can use to fill in a deposit slip.  Get looked at as if you just asked for the clerk's kidney.  After being sighed at, receive a pen.  Fill out the slip, ignore the fact that the clerk does not approve of your obviously American penmanship and head out the door (that is once they have decided that you look safe enough to be buzzed outside).

- Buy some gnocchi for dinner.  After the salesperson weighs the gnocchi, be told by him that he is going to take out a few gnocchis from the package because it's almost summer and we should all watch what we eat.  Try to hide the chocolate bar that is in your hand as you smile and nod guiltily.

- Purchase a huge package of water.  Attempt to lug home said package along with the new iron, the gnocchi and the chocolate bar.  Look like a complete idiot trying to carry all of it.  Curse the fact that you ever thought it was a good idea to live anywhere without a husband who can carry everything for you.  Have a random man on the street ask if you need help.  Completely ignore him because you live in France and realize that he is definitely not being a Southern gentleman who just wants to help a Southern belle carry something home.  He has an agenda and it's the same agenda on every other French man's mind.

- Come home to find internet not working.  Spend 60 minutes on phone with someone located in Tunisia who is trying to fix the problem from afar.  Realize two people speaking French with non-French accents over the phone is not an ideal situation for your blood pressure.  Simultaneously be in awe of and detest globalization until internet is fixed.  Once fixed go back to just being in awe of it. 

- Pat yourself on the back for getting through the day and then realize you haven't done a lick of work.  Get blogging.